Expediency

  By Perris | April 30, 2012 - 7:59 pm | Dating, Online dating, Personals Leave a comment

sex with someoneThere is no mystery at all these days about how we should meet people, and how we quickly we can do it. We all know that we can use the world wide web to very simply access a singles site and begin to meet all different types of people that we can almost immediately make plans with to meet up with in person. What we still have to sometimes tip toe around though, is the question of when it is appropriate to make a move towards sex with someone that we are currently dating as a result of an online meeting.

Many of us have heard of the somewhat well known standard guideline about the third date being the one where the sex usually happens if the first two dates have gone reasonably well, but we can certainly not always count on this being the right and proper time to approach the subject. Humans do not generally function according to schedules that are published in popular magazines, cheesy how to books, or cute little articles detailing all the so called rules of dating. Unfortunately for us, every situation is completely different and must be evaluated on an individual basis. Certainly, if we are dating someone that we have met through a Christian singles site, we would have to wonder if the person we are seeing would even consider pre-marital sex, never mind third date sex. On the other hand, if we are seeing someone that we met through an adult personals site, we can possibly even those first two obligatory dates before we get down to some serious erotic business with our new friend.

While we should certainly appreciate the speed with which the online dating sites allow us to meet people, we may still have to reign ourselves in just a bit when it comes to that big event that we are all waiting for.

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D-List Date Search

  By Perris | April 24, 2012 - 7:59 pm | Online dating, Personals Leave a comment

online personalsWhen you sign onto the wonderful world of the internet in search of some loving, it is a tired cliche that you never quite know what you are going to get. There are so many needs and desires and niches in that sexual netherworld that really anything is possible. So you should not go into it with a faint heart or a closed mind. Only open-minded people, please. But an even more interesting thing that sometimes happens on these many online personals sites is that you will stumble across someone that you know. Not personally, although that is certainly possible, too, but someone you recognize from television. Yes, D-list celebrities are often joining the ranks of those online looking for sexual shenanigans or relationships. This becomes our great big chance to interact with the ritzy world of celebs! We may even get to sleep with them if we are lucky!

The vast majority of these D-listers come from the glut of reality shows that litter our television landscape. It really is quite an embarrassment to see how many of them there are, and even more troubling to see how many people seem to give a damn about the staged drama of these nobodies. And yet, in the end, on a strictly superficial level, a lot of these idiot nobodies are rather good looking and have a good deal of money from their reality crap. So it might be fun to see how they stack up in the bedroom. They are usually none too subtle about their claim to fame, often highlighting it vaguely in their online personals profile, so as to make themselves seem important, but not wanting to give their sycophant idiot fans specific clues to their identity. Listen, no one wants to be too cynical here. D-list celebs are human beings, too, and need love and affection like the rest of us. They may be actually seeking their own online personals match. You may actually score one of them as your trophy.

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Sucked In

  By Perris | March 31, 2012 - 8:13 pm | Dating, Online dating, Personals Leave a comment

Casual sexWhen people first decide to go onto an online dating site in the hope of scoring some successful relationships or maybe some carefree casual sex, they can often be rather cavalier. Their expectations are rather low and they feel that is only dealing with people through computer screens so there is not much to worry about in terms of becoming emotionally invested in anybody. Well, many people will tell you that they were dead wrong on this matter and that online dating is sometimes brutally harsh in how it can break your heart.

The thing about online dating is that you are sitting in the comfort of your own house intimately chatting with another human being. No one else is around. The room is silent and maybe dark. It is often the middle of the night and the only light available is the glow of the computer screen. Such an environment lends itself to becoming very attached to the person at the other end of the computer screen. Just because someone is not there physically does not mean you cannot grow very fond of them very fast. The use of webcams these days has only further fueled the intimacy factor.

By getting so emotionally involved with a total online dating stranger before meeting them in person, you are only setting yourself up to be hurt. Now a lot of times these things work out and people go on to have fulfilling relationships. But just as often, people were only filling time in the middle of the night, looking for a quick emotional fix to alleviate their boredom or depression. They may not even have been using you on purpose, but they were using you nonetheless. Then comes the light of day and they suddenly are not as interested, yet you cannot seem to let them go. Your repeated attempts at chatting go unreturned and you soon realize the harsh truth. Online dating can be a dangerous emotional game.

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Basics

  By Perris | March 26, 2012 - 8:12 pm | Dating, First date, Online dating, Personals Leave a comment

Singles sitesThese days we are familiar with the notion that we can use one of the many available Internet personals sites to help us to meet nice people to chat with, to date, or to begin a new romance with. What we have to make certain that we keep in mind though, is the fact that we are using a Dating site on the world wide web does not mean that it is all right for us to skip all of the romantic aspects of properly courting someone. The year on the calendar does not matter when it comes to some good old fashioned romance. Even if it is 2011 and we are all connected to each other via the friendly, vast and cooperative world wide web, we still need to take the time to do the right things when it comes to attempting to start a new relationship with someone.

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Pressure

  By Perris | March 10, 2012 - 7:52 pm | Dating, Hook up, Online dating, Sex Leave a comment

Adult dating siteFor many of us, the prospect of just so called normal dating over the years has been absolutely nerve wracking and frightening enough. Never mind the prospect of meeting people on the Xxx dating sites where the focus is obviously sex, and we feel worried and nervous about our sexual prowess and skills as they may relate to a hot stranger. The truth is that there is nothing to feel nervous about; the levels of experience and expectation on the xxx dating sites are just as varied as the xxx sites themselves.

We all remember the experience of being an awkward teenager. We wondered if we had or could possibly come up with the guts to ask someone out. We wondered if they liked us enough to say yes, and we worried about how we would get out of it gracefully with at least a shred of dignity intact if we happened to be turned down flat. When we finally worked up the nerve to ask someone out and they accepted, we were then able to spend our time worrying about where to take them, what to wear, what to do, what to say, how to act, and what would happen.

Now, we think, what if we go onto an adult dating site and meet someone that we would like to meet up or hookup with? Now we have to worry about all of those other things and we also have to worry about what happens as far as the sex goes. What will they expect? The best thing that we can possibly do for ourselves here in this scenario is to just relax. We need to take a deep breath, relinquish our perceived control and just let nature take its’ course because it always knows what to do. All we have to do is to be open and honest with the people we meet on the sites and everything will work out just fine.

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All Kinds

  By Perris | March 5, 2012 - 7:52 pm | Dating, Hook up, Online dating, Personals, Sex 1 Comment

Singles sitesWhen most of us think of dating, we think of the prince and the princess in the fairy tale with the happy ending that we see on television, in the movies and read about in books. As lovely as all the images of a fairy tale courtship are, there are those people that are looking for something just a little bit different. For these folks, the Xxx dating singles sites are just the ticket.

Everyone just loves a fairy tale. And why wouldn’t we? The idea of being swept off of our feet by some perfect, beautiful and wonderful person that will love us completely and unconditionally for the rest of our lives is admittedly pretty swell. And all we have to do is to ride off into the sunset and live the rest of our lives in complete and total bliss. Sure, sign us up. This idea is the reason that most people idealize the idea of dating and keep such high standards regarding who they will date, where they will go and how they expect to meet them. Even the people with these fairy tale ideas who deign to use a dating site will choose a very traditional, marriage oriented site to use in their endeavour.

But what about those among us who, gasp, just want to meet someone to have a sexual relationship with, whether it be for the long haul or just for a quick one night stand? Don’t these people deserve the right to have their own fairy tale, even if it is just a little darker and more deviant than the standard one? Of course they do. Thanks to the world wide web and all of the available sites that cater to people meeting up for sex, they can do it quickly, easily and efficiently whenever they choose to.

Yes, the white horses, the slippers and the apples are all magical and lovely, but sometimes you just want to get laid.

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Divisions

  By Perris | February 6, 2012 - 7:58 pm | Dating, Online dating, Personals, Romance, Sex Leave a comment

People are very fond of listing, categorizing and keeping track of all of the various things that make us all different and unique. For some reasons, putting people into their proper boxes makes some people feel much more comfortable and safe. When it is time to let go of this silly process of stereotyping people according to all different ridiculous criteria, the Online personals can be a great place for us to open our minds and our hearts and to meet people of all different kinds, shapes, sizes and configurations.

Throughout our history as a society, it has been the divisions that have caused us all most of the problems that we have faced. Divisions divide, and it stands to reasons that people that are divided will be more like to have problems with each other than people that united. So why then do we persist in sorting everyone? We want control of course. We want to control our destiny, we want to control our circumstances, and of course we want to control everyone else so we will have a perfect world of our own making that we will possibly deign to let everyone else occupy along with us.

Ok, now it is time to just wake up here. It is obviously the differences in all of us that make life, dating, romance, love and sex as interesting as they are. Can you imagine if we were all exactly and precisely alike? What a snooze that would be for us. Since we all realize that none of us want that, how about we make an effort to stop forcing people into neat little slots and just appreciate them exactly as they are. We can use the many resources on the world wide web to expand our horizons, overcome our own fear of the unknown, and just become better people in general. So how about we go for it?

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The Laughably Earnest Profile

  By Perris | February 1, 2012 - 7:50 pm | Dating, Online dating, Personals Leave a comment

LaughWe’ve all seen them as we wander the always fascinating world of online personals. There, at the polar opposite extreme of the hardcore smut, lies the overly earnest profile of some poor soul too naïve to know what they are getting into.

One feels like a total prick mocking these people. But it’s just impossible not to. These earnest types are just so damn nice. Impossibly so. They start off by telling us how they are such a great person from such a great family, how they went to a good school, how they just love their family and friends and would do anything for them. Maybe they have a precious pet, too, that they adore. They move on to say how they are absolutely, positively not on online personals for sex. No, they’re looking for a relationship – someone to share their life with and start new dreams. They love to laugh, too; we can’t forget about that one. And it just goes on and on and on. Usually accompanied by a darling photograph of them at the beach or the park…that radiant smile on their face, of course. Ugh. It is all just too much.

It doesn’t seem right to rake these types over the coals. But they ask for it. They are in over their heads, swimming with a bunch of people who are generally out just to get their rocks off. Then you wind up talking to them for some reason, and it’s just a colossal waste of everyone’s time. You’re not looking to get a cup of coffee with them, and they don’t want your sex. Both sides should know better than to even start talking to the other. Frustration is the only result.

They should have their own website is how it should be. Conversely, they should somehow be blocked from joining a pussy-or-cock online personals site. Because those of us yearning for sex love to laugh, too, but all we’re doing is frowning when we come upon Earnest Earl or Edna.

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The Sex Is Better When We’re Made To Recognize It

  By Perris | December 26, 2011 - 5:23 pm | Dating, Fetish, Hook up, Sex 1 Comment

Anticipation of fucking is sometimes as good as the fucking….or at least can make the fucking better. A warning threat then a consummated promise in a kinky scenario keeps a sub in line-and aroused-as much as it helps the dom be prepared-and aroused. While we all enjoy and respond to the spontinaety of a stolen hot moment or a passing glance or pat on the bottom from our very best lover, there are those times when recognizing sex, before it happens or after we’ve had it, makes the sex even better.

Most role-play is built on this recognition of our sexual selves. Even if a couple whispers a scenario in the heat of passion and begin their play from that second forward, they are considering their steps in a way that they are hyper aware of not only who they are but what they are looking to accomplish.

A little checking with our lover or mate from time to time can only help to increase our enjoyment with them, even if we’re not getting into role-play or anything kinky. The simple act of communicating keeps us not only recognizing how good the sex might be presently but how in ways we might improve it. Lot’s of people think that to recognize their sex lives they need to be talking dirty in bed or getting up in chat-room attempting some one-handed communication but the simple act of taking our time and considering what we are doing with a lover or telling them what we would like to do to them is often times enough.

In the way we seem to communicate too often these days, in the blistering assault of information coming at us and in all the sexual imagery we can enjoy, take into our homes and share with one another across even our portal devices it’s good sometimes to just take a moments and enjoy our intimacies even if that means ruminating over what has just passed or what we might be fantasizing about.

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Free Dating Doesn’t Mean Free…or Even Dating

  By Perris | December 21, 2011 - 5:23 pm | Dating, Online dating, Romance, Serious relationship, Sex 2 Comments

We get into free dating because we don’t want to be bogged down in a relationship nor do we need the worry of monogamy, but too often we find free dating is not free…nor is it really dating. Too often two people get together and though they say they are free dating they begin to see small yet insidious demands of one another’s time and attention-as is often the case one person grows attached while the other doesn’t-or what they get into is only ever fuck-buddy rendezvous which are truly not dating in any sense of the term.

It is hard to maintain a real free dating situation and while each couple has to define what those two seemingly contradictory terms mean when they are linked together, really in the end not many of us are free dating although we think we are. If two people are dating then they usually have some sight on the future of where they would or would not want their dating to go, they are restricted then by that perception and even if what they foresee is a consistent non monogamous situation they still have some sort of restriction of a concept…how free is their free dating then? Very much like a Zen approach to life the only way a couple can be really free dating is to not think about their dating at all…which is nearly impossible for most people. We just don’t like uncertainties in our lives, certainly not in our dating.

We really shouldn’t be so concerned with the terms or definitions of what we do, we should just do it! Dating on any level is difficult and even if we strive to stay free in our approach, lessen our sense of agenda and keep ourselves open to as many options for a relationship as we can the less we define or even think about our interactions probably the better off we are to enjoy them freely.

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